At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
