Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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