Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
