dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
