He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
