it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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