escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
