sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
