that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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