What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
