how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
