i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
did i just pee glitter
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
