I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
