Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
