Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
