we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
