Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
