Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize