Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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