So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
