Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize