Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
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She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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