I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
