I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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