im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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