At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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