Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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