yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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