Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I deserve this hangover.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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