it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
