The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize