laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
