she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
bring money and cleavage
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
