whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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