I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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