I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Someone came in the potted fern
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
