I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
