I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just found puke in my bra..
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
And then he peed in my hair
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