six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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