Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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