I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
