im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Even my vagina gasped.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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