Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
