I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
