Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
