He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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