There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize