shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
