ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
