i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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