i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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