Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
