I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
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my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
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You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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