i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
