Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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