meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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