Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize