Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.