This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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